Feeling A Little Twentynine Palms-ish...

So, I'm rapidly approaching my two year mark in the majestic and serene town of Twentynine Palms. It sounds like a nice place, but really it's just a bunch of sand rocks. Oh, and it houses the biggest combat training center in the US, MCAGCC. I like what the Marine Corps stands for, but I get really tired of seeing Marines everywhere I go. They're even shopping at the Dollar Tree on Saturdays. Who does that?

You might be asking yourself, "besides Marines, and a Marine Corps base, what else does Twentynine Palms have to offer?" Well, since I'm a helpful kind of gal, I'll answer that for you. First, I must give a brief description of the population. If you're on base you will see there are 4 basic types of people: Single Marines, Married Marines, fat wives, and skinny wives. There's another group, but I have no opinion of them so we'll just honorably mention the civilian employees and go on with my commentary of the afore mentioned.

Single Marines are easy to spot. They're generally carefree enough to hit on married ladies in the PX , local bars, and occasionally while driving down what is known as 'The Hill'. There's a story here, but I'll just hit the key points. The hill that leads to the metropolis of Palm Springs, white Government Van a.k.a MAV, two Marines, giant piece of paper, phone number. Anyway, single Marines are usually over confident because they have pulled the "I'm a Marine." line on as many bro ho's as they can count, and it's worked to get into many of their panties. They drink too much, and if the rest of us are lucky, word spreads of the shenanigans, and people like me are entertained by whatever drunken debauchery they somehow felt was necessary on the Saturday before last.

Married Marines are like single Marines, but usually won't hit on anyone openly. They drive the wrong way on the one way street, while speeding because that makes more sense. They have loud parties and let their kids stay up while they get drunk. Actually these are my neighbors. Let me begin again. Married Marines are married to the other two groups. Fat wives, and skinny wives. There is no in between. And by that I mean there are people who look overly skinny and normal, and then there are just plain obese dunkin' donut fat bodies. This may sound offensive, but the only people who are really going to find that rude are the people it describes. And I also don't care about a lot right now, so offending people isn't going to bother me much.

Anyway, since I'm tired of writing about this I'll just say, Marines do Marine things, wives don't do anything. Myself included. I would, but there's not shit to do. The scenery is ugly, the people probably were cool at one point, but the sun melted down their personalities, and somehow I get the feeling Twentynine Palms is a preview of Hell. This is actually where you end up if you misbehave. In light of that I'm going to try to find a virtue or two so I don't end up back here in the afterlife.

I realize this doesn't directly answer the question posed above. But indirectly it tells you there is nothing else here, and it's probably not on a whole lot of vacation brochures.